From time to time, I will publish a few of my Little Rules of Life. The list is long and extensive, but every now and then, I'll just throw a handful of them up here on the website as they come to me. It is important to note that these are not superstisions. They are Little Rules of Life. Some have concrete explanations. Some do not. But I follow them all almost as a matter of pure instinct, and I can't always explain why. A random sampling:
- Never take the top newspaper out of a newspaper machine. Always slide your hand below it and grab the second one from the top. The exception to this is if there are only two papers left. NEVER take the bottom paper in the pile.
- When making a toothbrush change, always make said change on a weekend, Friday, or holiday. NEVER change toothbrushes on a regular weekeday.
- An addendum to the above rule - always show proper respect to the outgoing toothbrush. Don't just replace it. Put the new toothbrush in with the outgoing one for a day or so while still brushing with the outgoing one. The ceremonial "final brush" should be akin to the changing of the guard at Arlington National Cemetery.
- After doing dishes, always place the newly cleaned dishes UNDER dishes of the same type in the cabinet. If you keep putting the newly cleaned plates on top of the ones already stacked in the cabinet, you'll keep using the same 3 or 4 plates while the ones on the bottom will never see the field. Playing time is important to dishes. Spread it around and make sure they all get some quality minutes periodically.
- There are certain times in life when a person simply has to be on their feet. NEVER be sitting down at the following times:
At midnight on New Year's Eve
During the Kentucky Derby
When any big game involving one of your favorite teams is on the line (this applies whether you are at the game or not)
During a Florida game at The Swamp if the score is within four touchdowns or anytime during the first three quarters
On Opening Day, during the first pitch of the season for your favorite baseball team
During a hockey fight or baseball brawl
When you are all-in with your cards turned up while playing Hold 'em
With two outs, not two strikes, at a baseball game with the home team leading in the 9th
When any one of your friends or family is involved in a dispute of any kind, verbal or non-verbal, unless it's with another one of your friends or family
